Tuesday, 9 October 2007


Being home, it was hard to imagine ever being sad. How could anything get you down, when the bluest sky in the world was right above you, and there were red leaves on the trees, and it smelled like fall? Being sad was an impossibility. I want to go back to that.

When I was home, I kept talking about when I was "going home" - meaning coming back to King's. Funny, isn't it, how quickly you adjust? But now that I'm back at King's, it doesn't really feel much like home.

I was starting to get used to things and feel like maybe I was finding that niche where I fit in, you know? But then I saw all my high school friends this weekend, and now I'm thinking, why am I here? How could I talk about having friends here? Those are my friends, I want to be with them!

Four days ago, I had the best birthday of my life. Bowling, out to lunch (free cake!), sailing, BBQ, Twister, fireworks, charades. Seeing everyone for pretty much the first time in a month. Not having to plan anything or be the hostess. It was perfect. Now, four days later. I'm feeling down again. Sigh.

At least there are a few nice people around. They make me smile. Although the one person that I've connected with the most is somehow the one that I seem to see the least - maybe I need to go blow bubbles outside again tonight? See if I can find her?

Or, you know, sit in my room and feel miserable. Yeah.

Edit: Okay, there are even more nicer people here than I thought a few minutes ago. :)

Why is it that I've gotten more birthday presents from my "friends" here than from my "friends" at home?

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