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Wednesday, 12 December 2007

Home, and fucking lonely.

I honestly think this might just be the loneliest I've ever been. I'm literally on the edge of tears because I just miss people so much. Partly, it's because I miss everyone at King's - those guys have come to mean so much to me. And as much as I thought I wouldn't be able to stand having people around 24/7, I've gotten so used to always having someone I can visit or call or whatever, that it's so weird to have seen no one outside my family for 4 days. I'm really not coping with the sudden lack of people very well. Partly, it's because I've just come to the realization that most of my high school friends are only going to be around for two or three weeks and that they have to spend time with their family and their other friends and whatnot, and that really, I'll be lucky if I get tos ee everyone once while we're home. And I think partly, it's because I looked at pictures of the Dal kids today, and realized that they're all still together and having a good time and getting to be closer than ever, and that I'm just not a part of their lives any more, and I never talk to them and I don't even know what goes on with them and that as much as I love everyone at King's, no one will ever replace, no one CAN ever replace my IB nerds, because we went throught that together and we've known each other forever and that's something that you just expect is going to last forever and ever and ever, but obviously it doesn't if I'm feeling this distant from them, and sometimes I just have to wonder if they ever even stop for a second to think of me and be sad that I'm not there with them...

Okay, this has to stop. All I'm doing is making myself feel worse. Long story short, I'm having a shitty night, I am EXTREMELY lonely, and if anyone should happen to read this, please either come give me a hug or at least send me a virtual hug over facebook or msn or the comments here or whatever and tell me that you miss me, because I am emotional and needy, dammit!

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