Thursday, 26 February 2009

I haven't been updating lately as much as I had hoped. I was so sure that once study break came around, I would have time for writing up some real actual posts. But, as it turns out, I've decided to put that time to use getting ahead on work for next week, and, crazy idea, taking a break. Madness.

Anyway, I have a few relatively low-effort posts that I'm planning to get up in the next few days, and maybe by that time I'll have written something worth reading.

For today, here are some pictures I took this afternoon on my walk:

I don't see how anyone can possibly be sad so long as they have the sky.

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Spring Fever

A few days of nice weather, and I'm spun loopy.

The sky today is SO BLUE. I love that, I love it so much. It just makes me go all funny inside and want to fly and stuff, except not actually. It doesn't really make me want to fly, but I don't have language to describe what it actually feels like, so that's the closest I can get.

And then I realized that I LOVE the colour of yellow that certain classrooms are painted here. Like, that is really nice shade of yellow. I want to have a room in my house painted that colour when I grow up. It'll totally be the music/writing/reading room. It'll have lots of windows and a big square table made with light-coloured wood and a red leather couch. And I kind of that if I was going to do that and decorate one whole room in King's-style, I might as well stick in some open piping just to make it REALLY feel like home, but I think that might ruin the atmosphere, you know? Open piping is for bedrooms and hallways. So instead I'll just paint the ceiling blue. Like the sky.

I just want to dance and do cartwheels and go to the beach! The ocean. Hirtle's beach. And dance along the shore.

I'm so excited for summer, I want to have a picnic. I can't wait to walk barefoot through the grass.

I feel so alive and jumbly! I don't even know what to do with myself.

Wednesday, 11 February 2009

Horoscopes and Real Life

One day last week, I was hanging out with some friends in the campus bar/lounge, and there was a copy of the crappy local paper sitting on one of the tables. Not the crappiest local paper, but still pretty bad. We have a lot of local papers. A large portion of them are crappy. This is beside the point. The point is, one of the people I was with picked up the crappy local paper and read out horoscopes for eveyone who was there. Mine? Said something about Sartre that I didn't catch, which probably wasn't a big deal. And then it said that this is the year to turn my life into a masterpiece. I guess even crappy local newspapers get it right sometimes. :)

So, life is pretty exciting these days. Nothing much is going on, but, I don't know, I'm just so excited about everything! It's fantastic. I haven't felt this way in a long time. I'm enjoying it muchly.

Last week we had Friday off as a university holiday, resulting in a fantastic long weekend. This gave me time to hang out with multiple groups of friends AND not only get caught up on work that I hadn't done the week before, but get a ton of work done ahead of time! So today I finished up the last of the stuff I need to do for this week and got started on an essay that's due next Friday. Next week is the last before study break, and will therefore be somewhat hectic, so anything I can get out of the way now is a definite bonus.

Most of my friends at other universities have their study break next week, so a few of them are going to be coming to visit - one this weekend, and one at some undetermined time. I'm so excited to see them! Friends are the best, they really are.

I'm excited for our study break. I have already decided that the first day I am just going to stay in bed until dinner time. This is not quite as unreasonable as it sounds, since I will have just worked an overnight shift, so I would normally stay in bed until lunch time, at least, anyway. I've just constantly been feeling the urge to crawl into bed and snuggle with my teddy bear, so I want to have a whole day where I can just do that. I'll probably also be going home for four or five days, which is pretty exciting. I'm not even homesick or anything, but I just want a change of scenery and a change of pace, to aboid falling into a slump. Routines are good, but I think I could use a break from mine. I want to go home and go for a walk on the trail because it's pretty. That is what I want.

Other news that I feel like mentioning but not discussing:
-One of my friends has "hired" me as his personal assistant. I find this awesome.
-I am discouraged and frustrated by student union politics. But then, this is no surprise. Seems like elections this year should be about as interesting as they were last year, although hopefully they will end with better results.
-Last formal meal of the year was tonight. Kind of a sad feeling for me; living off campus next year, I don't imagine I'll come to many formal meals. One of the things that I will miss about living here.
-Also at formal meal, our university president informed us that our school was ranked number one in the country by students. That is several kinds of awesome.

I guess that's it. Be excited for upcoming posts - my list of things to write about grows much much faster than I can write them. Currently, there are seven things on the list. Seven! I may combine a few of these ideas, but still. Things are coming. Be prepared.

Saturday, 7 February 2009

A Month's Worth of Positivity

Of all my New Year's Resolution, there's only one that I've managed to keep completely, and that was the one where I write down all the positive things that happen at the end of each day. The other part of my positivity resolution was to put up a weekly blog post of some of these things, but, well, I've obviously failed at this, completely. So, to try to make up for it, here are the most positive things of the past month:

- Turning over a new leaf
- Fireworks
- Shenanigans
- Random middle of the night comversations about mullet eyebrows and other such things
- Fondue
- Corned beef
- Grapefruit
- Naps
- My "Early Modern Conceptions of Asian Thought" class
- Delicious Jean's Chinese
- Getting my first ever A-level mark on a paper at King's
- Improv
- Cuddling
- Repeatedly getting the highest mark in the class on grammar quizzes
- Murder mystery party
- Finding a place to live come May
- Formal Meal
- Tea party
- Visit from Laura
- Brinner (Breakfast for dinner!)
- Fringe went well
- The people I care about care about me too :)
- 100% on a french test that I wrote while I was hungover

See how much good can happen in just one month? And that's just the highlights. What good things happened in your January?

Friday, 6 February 2009

Strength of Will

I proved today how much I've improved in one aspect: self-discipline.

I've been having crazy amounts of food cravings lately. Mostly perogies, but also cupcakes, soba noodles, mangoes, and M&M's. Dark chocolate M&M's, I love everything about them, I love the way it feels to have a big handful of them, I love the texture of them when you chew, and of course I love the taste.

Today I was at the store finishing up some Christmas shopping (yeahhhh, whoops) and picking up some real food. And there on the shelf, right in front of me, "bowl-sized" bags of dark chocolate M&M's. My mouth was watering, I tell you.

The 5-year old inside me begged "oh please, please, can we have them, pleeeeease?" And the reasonable side of me said "no, that is not a good use of five dollars, and besides, they'll make us fat. We can have a little bit of ice cream at dinner tonight instead."

I am so proud of me.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Happiness: A Warm Puppy?

I often complain about how everyone seems to be so unhappy. I mean, I don't expect everyone to be happy all the time. Bad things happen. People have shitty days. You can't always be happy. Sometimes you're sad. I understand that. It's life.

But so many people are so unhappy all the time. And often for not very good reasons. And always for the same reasons. And they never do anything about it, they just carry on being unhappy. That's what I've never understood.

Then, a few days ago, I had kind of a shitty day, and so did one of my best friends. And when I was trying to figure out how to explain our "down-ness" I accidentally came up with a (pretty solid, in my opinion) theory as to why other people are so unhappy.

It's so much easier to be unhappy. If you're willing to accept unhappy as being good enough for you, then you can just take whatever comes your way. You don't have to try to make the shitty things better. You don't have to make tough choices about what the best thing would actually be. You don't have to push yourself, every day, to do the right thing, to make a change in your life, to do the things that are best for you. It's so easy to just sit back and watch life go by.

I hate that people are willing to live with that. I mean, I know I was one of them up until quite recently, but really? That's such a shitty way to live! Happiness is worth the effort. It really is. I just wish more people could see that.

One of the main things that I'm looking forward to next year is having two of my best friends around me all the time. Because life is so much easier when you've got a little help. "No man is an island." No one can make it on their own. You need a helping hand to pick you up when you fall, or a hug to fix that broken heart, or a gentle finger to wipe away those tears.

That's one of the main things that I've realized in my recent period of reflection/introspection/change in state of mind. No one can do life on their own, and it's pointless to try. I used to hate being dependent on people. I was afraid they would walk away and I would lose my balance without them... like that time two friends hoisted me on their shoulders between them, and then one stepped out from underneath me. I was afraid of falling. But you know what? I'm pretty tough. I can fall from shoulder height, and I can get back up. And you know what? Most of the time, there's someone else there to help support my weight. So it's okay. It's okay to need people. Sometimes they'll let you fall, sometimes they won't. When they do, things will be okay.

That's part of the reason I want to get back into blogging. I want to share. I want to reach out, I want to touch people, I want to make connections. No one can do this on their own. We all need help, we all need company, we all need a coach, a cheering section, a mentor, a teacher, a friend. We all need a warm puppy to help us find happiness.

Do you need someone? I'm here. I love you. I need you too. And that's okay. As long as you're happy.

Monday, 2 February 2009

Oh, hey, look... I have a blog!

Okay, so, I may have not posted in over a month. That is a serious possibility. In fact it is exactly what happened. And the worst part is? I have no real reason for it. Just some excuse about how I was busy and lazy and didn't really feel like it and stuff. But whatever. Deal with it.

Anyway. So last time I posted was New Year's Day and I was full of hope and positivity and ready for change. Somehow one twelfth of this "Year of Change" is over already. I have NO IDEA where the time went! I can't believe it's already February. So, what has gone on in the exciting month of January?

My roommates and I now have a place to live for next year. I'm so excited! I can't wait to get out of residence, and I'm just so excited to live with those two! It's going to be amazing. I am stoked stoked stoked.

I had a play performed in the Fringe Festival here at King's. That was rather stressful, honestly. At my first four rehearsals, either there was a massive snowstorm, or people just didn't bother coming. Then my lead actor got pneumonia and I had to recast the part... so the first real rehearsal we had was less than a week before our first performance, and even then we were still missing one actor. But, despite all of that, everything worked out quite well, actually. I received several compliments on it, and the audience laughed in all the right places and all that good stuff. Overall, success. :D

I guess those are really the main things that happened this month. Otherwise, the usual. Schoolwork. Friends. Random adventures. Work. Sleep. Etc. You know how it goes.

It's been sort of a weird month in terms of people though. Like, there are a couple of friends that I've spent so much time with in the past month that I'm getting sick of them, something which hasn't happened since last year. In some ways, this is a good thing. Then there's other friends who I used to see at least once a week, often more, and I feel like I've only seen them a couple of times this month. Then there's one friend who I talked to almost every day for the past four months. And then this month... everything's different. I don't know what happened, just, the past few weeks, we've barely talked, and when we do, we have trouble getting past the "how are you?"s and the "what's up?"s. It makes me fairly unhappy, actually. Then there's someone else who I just met this month, but has surprisingly quickly become a friend, or is getting close to becoming a friend, or something.

Anyway. Enough of this. I know that the burning question on all of your minds is really: So how are those New Year's Resolutions coming along, Katie? Hmmm? How's all your big talk treating you in real life? Are you really making any changes in your life?

The short answer: Sort of. No, I haven't stuck to all of them. But you know what? Change is gradual. I'm not there yet, but I will be, eventually. I'm certainly doing better than I was last semester, and I think that's a pretty good start. Recently, I fell down completely. Lost all sight of all this. But within a few days, I realized that. And you know what I did? I didn't stay down on the ground and nurse my wounds and wish someone would help me up, like the old me would have done. Nope. I got right back up, more determined than before to get turned around. Which just goes to show that even if I'm not making all of these tangible material concrete type changes just yet, at least I've had a serious change in my state of mind. And I think that's the most important thing.

I think that's all for now. Don't worry, you're not going to have to hang on for another month waiting for the next installment. I've been feeling really reflective and introspective lately. I'm in a really good state of mind, and I want to write that down. Partly for myself, so that when I'm feeling down, I can remind myself of how things should be; but also because I want to share my life with others.

So expect a few posts in the near future. I want to talk about things like happiness, relationships, and growing up. Get excited.