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Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Photo

Recently, Christmas has been happening. Travelling has been happening. Friendsing has been happening. Shopping has been happening.

Blogging has not been happening. Reverb10ing has not been happening. 750wordsing has not been happening either.

In the next week or so, there are a lot of things that need to and/or are going to happen. Taking my brother back to the airport tomorrow will happen. New Year's Eve will happen. Playing my new piano music will happen. Playing Mario with my mom on her new Wii will happen. Formatting two sets of a minutes needs to happen; working on my honours thesis should happen; packing to go back to Halifax will happen.

I find myself with seven missed reverb10 prompts, and two more to go. I can't do everything. There just isn't time. I'm going to skip some prompts and focus on the ones I find more inspiring. So, I'm moving past a couple of other ones and tackling the one from Christmas day.


It was raining that night: no great surprise, in this city. From our basement apartment where the windows are either high or small and covered with blinds that can't be raised, it is so difficult to tell what the weather is doing. All I could tell it was raining, and they'd been calling for a lot of rain, so I assumed it must be a downpour out there.

It was that mid-evening time when I tend to be tired of doing homework but not yet done, and not yet tired in general. It's that time of evening that my roommates and I tend to all end up in the common areas of our apartment by frequently-occurring coincidence. As we finished the night's shenanigans and prepared to return to our respective rooms and our respective academic sorrows, I glanced longingly up at the tiny living room window, seeing the drops of water gathered on it.

"Do you think I could go outside and dance in the rain?"

Roomie J assured me that this seemed like a not unreasonable thing to do.

I paused contemplatively. "Do you think I could dance in the rain in a dress?"

This one earned me a sceptical look. "You know it's November, right?"

I did know that. I wasn't planning to stay out too long, though, just enough for a bit of a romp.

I skittered into my room and re-emerged after a few minutes. "Do you think I could dance in the rain in this dress?"

"Ha. You chose that one because it would dry quickly, right?"

It's true that it was a nice heavy weight fabric, and didn't have too much to get wet in the first place. All that was just an added bonus, though. "No... when I looked in my closet this one sparkled."

I slipped on a pair of flats and scampered up the stairs and into the night. By this time I had Roomie J intrigued enough for her to grab a camera and follow me out. It actually wasn't downpouring at all but just barely sprinkling. I was disappointed by this wimpy weather in my normally wet city, but was too far invested in the adventure to turn back now. I performed a few silly dance moves and spins while Roomie J shot a few pictures, before rushing back in for my sweatpants and a hot chocolate because it was, as she'd pointed out, November.

This is a picture of myself as I'd like to be more often. Spontaneous. Impractical. Unafraid.

Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Future Self and Travel

Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

I feel as though I've been belligerent about several of the most recent prompts, but, well, I'm not doing this one either.

Actually that's a lie. I did do this one. Then I re-read it and realized that what I wrote had nothing to do with how I imagine myself in five years, but was simply a collection of all the reassurances I would like to hear now. So I started over, and really tried to imagine myself five years from now, but I just couldn't do it. I have no idea who/what/where I want to be. I came up with absolutely nothing. So I'm going to pass on this one.

I tried to do the bonus question too, but it was equally unsuccessful. There was nothing I could tell my past self. Past self gets by pretty well and present self is content with the way things turned out. There is nothing I would ask past self to change. Besides, I wouldn't want to spoil the surprises. I would never forgive myself. I love surprises too much.




Heyyy look at this prompt! I can and will answer it, gladly.

How did I travel this year? Mostly by foot. I walked to and from campus every day that I had class. I walked to and from work every weekday this summer. I walked to the grocery store, the drug store, and every other store I had to visit. I walked to appointments. I walked to friends' houses, restaurants, festivals, the library, the bank. On sunny summer Saturday mornings, I walked to the farmer's market, and my favourite coffee shop, and then the thrift store on the way home. Sometimes I even walked to or home from the mall, which is far enough to usually be a bus trip. My friends and I went on our annual camping trip, where we walked six kilometres into the woods with our gear. This year, I walked.

I travelled by bus occasionally, mostly in the winter semester when I had an evening class and by the time I left it was cold and dark and my desire to be at home with a mug of hot chocolate far outweighed my desire to not be on the bus.

I was in cars now and then as well, mostly on trips home, but sometimes when friends from out of town who have cars came to visit.

Also of note, I travelled by plane for the first time ever, when my parents and I went to visit my brother in May.

As for next year, I'd like to keep travelling in more or less the same ways. If I live somewhere that actually has bike storage, I'd like to have a bike. It's like walking, but faster! I would also really like to take a train trip across Canada, but that might not be in the cards for next year.

Monday, 20 December 2010

Beyond Avoidance

What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

This year, I should have written more. I should have exercised more. I should have cleaned more often. I should have spent more time with friends. I should have called my parents more often. I should have studied harder, eaten healthier, laughed louder, and taken more chances. Causes: worry, busyness, laziness.

Mostly, I should have dealt with interpersonal problems instead of being passive-aggressive about them or just being bitter and never speaking to people again. Main cause of this problem: fear.

As for the bonus question: I will do my best to do all of these things, but I only have so much time, energy, and courage. I'll make what improvements I can, and those I can't will wait for another year.

Sunday, 19 December 2010

Try and Healing

Another reverb10 double-up, since I didn't have time yesterday.

What do you want to try next year? Is there something you wanted to try in 2010? What happened when you did/didn’t go for it?

Next year I want to try:

Law school
Communicating properly with people
Spontaneity
Doing things that are impractical, because I'm just so sick of always choosing the most responsible options, instead of the things I really want

I set out for this year with the goal of trying new things in general, and I didn't really do as much of that as I would have liked. I guess I tried new things in the kitchen, mostly, which was generally successful.




To be honest, I take issue with this prompt. It demands that I had to be broken or damaged or wounded in some way, and I really don't think that I was. Maybe I'm just a pretentious jerk and don't realize that there's something wrong with me, or maybe I'm just too young and privileged to have been damaged yet, but one way or the other, I'm just not feeling it.

I am a whole and complete person. I am not broken. I did not need healing.

Friday, 17 December 2010

Lesson Learned

What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

I learned, this year, that I run away too much. If there's a problem, especially a problem that involves interaction with another person, I tend to do everything in my power to pretend like the problem doesn't exist.

It doesn't work. I can deny and repress as much as I like, but it never helps. Avoiding problems doesn't fix them. A lot of the time it makes them worse.

I need to stop doing this. I need to learn the art of confrontation. And communication.

Thursday, 16 December 2010

Friendship

How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst?

I've been turning this prompt over in my mind all day. I've started to write and stopped again about five times. I'm just not coming up with a good answer to it. I have friends who have changed me, and my perspective, for sure, but not really this year in particular.

I could give a partial answer with the friend I talked about in my post on appreciation: that a friendship gone sour made me appreciate my healthy friendships more.

I could also give another partial answer to the friend I made volunteering at Jazz Fest (as mentioned yesterday). This was the first new friend I made in what felt like a really long time (seriously though, a year, maybe?), and it changed my perspective on social interactions and my own self-confidence.

Neither of these answers sit quite right with me, I think because they're not specific to those friends themselves. It wasn't anything special about either of those friends that changed me, simply the situations we were in.

To be honest, 2010 was the year of wrapping myself up inside myself, away from the world as much as possible. Maybe in 2011 I will emerge and let others impact me again.

Wednesday, 15 December 2010

5 Minutes

Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010.

I want to remember:

Lying on the bridge at our campsite with Roomie J and JB, looking at the stars and talking about our lives.

Ice cream and lemonade and roommate hangouts all the time this summer.

Picking up garbage at JazzFest in the pouring damn rain with my newfound friend Team Cups.

Dancing the night away to the Mellotones at the Seahorse with Roomie J.

Being together with my family in Newfoundland at the start of summer.

L telling me the birthday present I made for him was the nicest thing anyone had ever given him.

The night of the EMSP party when I went crying to JDFL, who let me bug him for the rest of his shift while doing silly things to cheer me up.

Sneaking into the CSP party.

Being a member of the Canadian Studies secret seminar.

Floating in the massive Hurricane Earl waves at the beach with my mom.

Sitting on a bench in the middle of the night in the freezing cold, with a boy I had a crush on, saying that we liked each other, kissing and holding hands.

Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Action + Appreciate


I find this prompt difficult, not because I don't know what actions to take to make my aspirations happen. It's because I'm not exactly sure what my aspirations are.

I don't know, at this point, where exactly my next move is going to take me. I guess that means my next actions need to be decision-making, but I don't have all the information I need to make those decisions yet, and I don't have any control over when this information will be available to me. The activities of law school admissions committees fall far outside the realm of things I can control.

A lot of the other things I want from my life are dependent on this too. There are a lot of things I don't want to commit myself to until I know whether or not I'll be moving in 4 or 8 months.

So for now, my next step is waiting. In the realm of much smaller aspirations, I will occupy some waiting time by continuing to pursue my freshly-set deadline of completing the sweater I'm knitting by the end of June. Next step: finish the back!



I think the one thing I've come to appreciate the most this year is healthy relationships - romantic, friendships, and otherwise.

In the first part of this year, one of my friendships was souring and becoming very unpleasant. Due to the situation at the time, this was also someone that I had to deal with every single day. Instead of discussing our issues, we just became extremely passive-aggressive with each other, which meant, of course, that the situation just got worse and worse.

I was also in a sort-of relationship. We had started dating in 2009, but due to our busy schedules and lack of commitment, we saw each other very rarely - we saw each other in class a few times a week, sure, but only actually spent time together about once a month. I let myself get far more attached than I should have for that sort of "relationship," and thus felt a lot more distress about the situation than was really healthy.

Being far enough away from both of these situations now to have some perspective on them, it's helped me to appreciate what healthy human relationships feel like, and how valuable they are.

I really don't show my appreciation well enough. I should probably let my friends know how much they mean to me, and a good way to start would probably be by actually acting as though I want to spend time with them, instead of being a reclusive antisocial hermit all the time. Let's add that to my action list.

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Body Integration

This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?

The moments when I feel my mind and my body integrate are when I'm swing dancing and I just get it.

Most of the time when I'm dancing, my thought process goes "one two three-and-four, back straight, five six se-ven eight, keep arms tense, sink weight downward, oh and remember to smile, shit, now I've lost track of my footwork..."

There are rare moments, though, when everything just goes right for a few seconds. Usually this happens when I'm dancing with a more experienced lead and they do a move that I haven't actually learned yet. My mind stops trying to force my body do what it's been taught to do and just lets it respond to the signals I'm being given. For one brief moment everything is motion, mind and body simply move, together, without worrying about where they're going or how they're getting there.

When the motion stops, I grin and think "that was cool!" Then I realize that I have no idea where my feet are supposed to be right now...

11 Things

What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

I like this prompt.

1. Indecision.
I need to learn to make choices. I will eliminate this by listening to my gut. It will change my life by allowing me to be more spontaneous, and less stressed about everything.

2. Fear.
I don't really have a plan to eliminate this one. I don't think I can eliminate it. I can make it more manageable, though. I need to just do things I'm scared of and let myself see that they're really not so bad. I think the key to this one is going to be starting small. This will change my life in more ways than I can probably even imagine. Not to be crippled by fear of change, of social situations, of being wrong... it would make my life better in a million different ways.

3. Procrastination.
In the past week or so I've been using mytomatoes.com to help myself deal with this one, and it's been fairly effective. I'll continue to do that, and be on the lookout for other ways to tackle it. Cutting procrastination out of my life will free up more time to do meaningful things.

4. Laziness.
My life requires more physical activity. Getting rid of procrastination should also help with this one. Also, I'm considering signing up for some sort of fitness class at the university gym next semester, which would basically obligate me to do it. More exercise = more energy + more endorphins + better sleep, which are all things that will make life happier.

5. Loneliness.
I will fix this by not being a hermit any more. I will not turn down offers to go do things with friends unless homework is really actually urgent. I will actually invite people to do things instead of always waiting to be invited. This will change my life by making it happier.

6. Perfectionism.
I am not perfect. I will never be perfect. The good news is that no one (aside from myself) expects me to be perfect. I can get away with lowering my standards to at least slightly lower than perfection. This will save me a lot of worry.

7. Not asking for help/refusing offers of help.
See explanation to number 6 and add that sometimes I just can't do everything alone, no matter how much I might want to. It's okay to ask people for small amounts of help sometimes. I need to learn how to open my mouth and say the words.

8. Self-doubt.
I may not be perfect, but I am capable. I just need to convince myself of that on a regular basis.

9. Staying up too late.
In any context other than "staying up to hang out with friends," it just isn't worth how miserable I feel the next day. I might have to set an alarm to remind myself to go to bed.

10. Complaining.
"If you complain nothing happens; you might as well not bother." Monty Python, as always, tells the truth. Complaining is a useless practice primarily intended to draw pity or out-do someone else with how bad your life is, which is a stupid competition. It needs to end.

11. Clutter.
My desk is getting out of hand. As are my dresser, my closet, and my floor, come to think of it. Yeesh. I need to clean my room thoroughly more frequently than once every four months. Decluttering my physical space tends to help me declutter mentally and emotionally, so this will hopefully help me even beyond not tripping over a stack of books every time I go in an out of my room.

Friday, 10 December 2010

Wisdom

What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

I really struggled with this prompt. Not because I doubt I have wisdom, but simply because I don't feel as though I've made a lot of decisions. On the day-to-day level, sure, but I don't feel like I can cite my wisest decision being the time I decided to have falafel for supper instead of spaghetti, or something like that.

In terms of major life decisions, the only one I really made was to probably go to law school, and I'd really rather not judge the wisdom of that until it actually has played out.

Basically, I have no answer. This one's got me stumped.

Thursday, 9 December 2010

Party

What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Had you asked me this question about 2009, I would have had a hard time choosing because there were a lot of really good parties. But you're not asking about 2009, you're asking about 2010.

The problem with 2010 is not that there weren't any parties. There were some parties, and they were almost all enjoyable. The year started with a fairly chill New Year's Eve party at my house. There were some sick dance parties (and some non-dance parties) at the household of Loud et al. There was the exclusive party on campus that I snuck into with some friends. They were all lovely parties, but none of them stands out as having "rocked my socks off."

I think my best answer to this question is that my favourite parties are the ones my roommates and I have whenever at least two of us happen to be in the kitchen/living room space at the same time. It's a new party every time. Last night it was a Trying-to-figure-out-how-to-do-the-worm Party, as well as a Balancing-pumpkins-on-our-heads Party (Not at the same time. That would be intense). Sometimes it's a Make-up-silly-dance-moves Party, others it's a Standing-on-the-furniture Party. It can be a Climbing-our-doorways Party, or a Rolling-around-on-our-spare-wheelie-chair Party, or a Making-random-beats-by-banging-on-things Party. We get up to shenanigans like nobody's business.

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Beautifully Different

Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

I used to feel different all the time. I very clearly remember that it started in grade six. Before that I'd always been part of the group (my elementary school was very small; there were only seven girls in my class), but that year everyone else started to care about clothes and make-up and boys. I was a year behind on boys, and about nine years late on the clothes and make-up (if you're thinking that brings us to about last year, you'd be thinking right).

I was picked on a lot in junior high for differences that it was difficult to put a finger. In high school, I learned to embrace my differences and had amazing friends who were also different from others -but just like me.

My years at university have taught me that no one is really different. I've learned to challenge my assumptions about people and see the things that connect all of us. Now I see that we're all just looking for our place in the world; trying to find happiness and figure out who we are and where we belong. We might express it in slightly different ways, but deep down, we're all the same.

There is not a single quality I have that you couldn't find just as good or better in someone else. That goes for everyone. We just have different combinations of these qualities. There is nothing about me that I can cite as being the one special thing that makes me different from everyone else.

We're all the same. We're all beautiful. I find that there can be a lot of pressure to be different and unique in order to express yourself. No one ever tells us that it's okay to be the same. I'm not saying we should conform to every standard society sets. It's just that sometimes I feel like striving to be different prevents me from being myself. In a lot of the ways, I'm exactly like everyone else. Why shouldn't I be allowed to embrace that?

There's nothing specific I do that lights people up. Sometimes I'll smile at strangers I pass on the street and be rewarded with the most beautiful smiles in return. Sometimes it's some small chore or errand I do that has my roommate proclaim that I'm "her favourite" (her "favourite" changes frequently). Sometimes it's because I listen well, or because I laugh at the right time, or because I know how to explain something. Little things. Little things that anyone else could do just exactly the same.

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

Community

Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I feel like I could very easily coast through #reverb10 answering most of the prompts with "I didn't." It wouldn't be lying. I could do it. Will it be a useful practice? No.

I think the reason I keep wanting to focus on the negative aspects of the the year is because I'm in a shitty mood right now. End of term plus super gross weather tend to do that to me. Was it a bad year? At times, yeah. There are things I would go back and change if I could, for sure. But I don't want to give off only bad reverberations. I do need to recognize the bad things so I can think about how to fix them next year, but I also need to remember that good things happened this year too. Lots of good moments.

So, community. Were there times this year that I felt like I was growing so far from my friends that I just wanted to cry until I fell asleep and didn't have to think about it? Yeah. Were there times it felt like I had absolutely no one I could talk to about anything? Absolutely. Were there times I listened to the song below over and over again just to sing along to "I would go most anywhere/to feel like I belong"?


You better believe it. Does that mean I should stop writing here, like I considered doing when I first read today's prompt? Absolutely not.

So does this mean that I have no community? No. It just means my community is changing, and I'm taking some time to adjust. I still have my very best friends to lean on when I need them.

I guess the prompt is technically about where I have discovered community this year, and I do have a few answers to that. I took a fourth year seminar course this year that came together sort of haphazardly and somewhat under the official university radar, which we lovingly refer to as the "secret seminar." It consists of seven students plus the prof, and we just discussed everything and supported each other through the tough issues we were approaching. I was by far the quietest and shyest one in the course, but it still felt like a community, especially on the last day when we went out for lunch together. We like each other and the course so much, in fact, that we've decided to carry on as a discussion group, just for fun, next semester.

As far as online communities go, I found a forum for law students, where I've connected with some of the other applicants at one of my prospective schools. We've been helping each other through the application process and the admissions wait, and it's great. We are well on our way to our goal of having the longest thread ever on that forum. Plus we've already started planning a party for when we theoretically all end up at that university together.

In 2011, I want to connect more deeply with the community of the swing dance society I'm a member of. I've been hovering around the edges, but I need to dive right on in.

I want to join the community of whatever law school I end up at, really join it. I want to be involved in everything and know everyone and be right in the thick of things.

I will find my way.
I can go the distance.

Monday, 6 December 2010

Make.


Technically, the last thing I made was the garlic fingers I had for supper. If you're from somewhere stupid that doesn't have garlic fingers (No offence to wherever you're from. I'm sure it's lovely. It's just that they don't have garlic fingers, which is stupid), they look like this:

(At least, that's what they look like when I make them. Usually they're a little less, um, lumpy. My dough skills could use some work.)

and they're delicious. They're also easy to make: pizza dough + garlic butter + mozzarella, cook at 425F for 15 minutes. Our garlic butter recipe is as follows:

1 c. butter, softened
1 tbsp garlic, minced
1/4 c. parmesan cheese
1 tbsp garlic salt
1 tsp italian seasoning
1/2 tsp black pepper
1/4 tsp paprika

Anyway, I didn't even really want to talk about garlic fingers because they're just food, and to me cooking is just a fact of life; it's not usually something I consider creative, which is how I interpreted this prompt.

So really the last thing I made was this little fella:


I imagine most people probably need me to tell you that it's Teen Wolf. I made it as a birthday present what feels like forever ago (March) for the then-boyfriend. Materials were:

miscellaneous scrap yarn in brown, orange, and black
yellow fabric
thread
crochet hook (size F)
needle
Sharpie

This is the first thing I ever crocheted, so I was kind of proud of it. Also, crocheted? Weirdest word. I have a hard time not pronouncing the "t" whenever I read it.

As for projects I want to work on: SO MANY. The main one right now is that I would really like to finish the sweater that I've been working on knitting for just shy of three years. So far I've finished the arms and about a 3rd of the back. It looks approximately like this:

I hadn't touched it in months, but I actually just picked it up over the weekend to do some work on it. I think my problem is that I always wait until I have large blocks of time free when I can do a lot of work at once. That doesn't happen frequently. According to the rough calculations I guesstimated the other night, if I work on it for just half an hour a day, I should be able to finish it in about six months. Whereas if I continue this strategy, it will probably be another three years.

I think I can make time for a half hour a day. Maybe not every single day, but a lot of days, yes. In the past month + 6 days I've made time for blogging every day, and for five days now I've made time for writing at 750words every morning. I've had to re-evaluate how I use my time and realized that my time management skills have gotten much slacker than they used to be. I also just really like knitting as a break from my academic world of ideas and books. I find that working with my hands to create something physical is a good way to get out of my head and grounded in the real world.

New goal: Complete sweater by the end of June. That gives me just under seven months. I'm gonna do it. For real.

Sunday, 5 December 2010

Let Go

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I really can't think of much that I let go of this year. In fact, looking back, I think I've probably spent much of the year desperately, desperately trying to hold on. I've been hanging on to anything and everything, just to prevent things from changing. Friendships, relationships, traditions, music - everything. I just want it all to stay the same.

Next year will be my year of letting go, I think. I'll be finishing my BA and almost definitely moving away; very possibly all the way across this great big country. I'll have to let go of a lot of things to make that work: my province, living close to home, my Hali-friends, a bunch of material possessions, my sense of security, and most importantly, my fear of change.

I could respond to the "whom" part of this question, since I have let go of a few people, but I'm really not comfortable talking about it on a blog they could easily access, so I'll just leave it at that.

Saturday, 4 December 2010

Wonder

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

The only answer I can give to this question is: I didn't.

Wonder, for me, is really not something I cultivate so much as something that just happens. Mostly, it happens when I look at the sky.

There's that line in the Regina Spektor song "Oedipus"that goes "the sky'd be so big that it broke my soul." That's how I feel about it. I'm so blown away by the fact that we all share this great big blanket that I can't even handle it.


This effect is also multiplied by about a million when I actually get out of the city to see the stars.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Moment

[Before I start today's reverb10 prompt, I want to make a quick update on yesterday. Right after I finished my post, I signed up for an account at 750words and wrote. I did it again this morning (just one day away from being a turkey!). I didn't necessarily write good words, but that's okay. I wrote. That's the important part.]

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

My moment for this post came to mind right away. I actually wrote about it when it happened back in May, but I will re-iterate here, since it didn't exactly have vivid detail the first time around.

One day near the beginning of the summer, my roommates and I went for a walk around our local park. This is probably my favourite place in the whole city -- mostly because it's the one that feels the least like the city. It has forest, and ocean, and ponds, and it's lovely.

While we were walking the path around the perimeter of the park, we stopped to read every sign and plaque we saw along the way. At one point we ran up a little hill to look at something or other, and we ended up just standing at the top of the hill for a minute or two.

The hill looked out over the ocean, and the wind was blowing in off the water. It buffeted us, whipping past my ears and making my eyes water. Between the wind and the sun, I had to squint my eyes nearly shot. I couldn't bring myself to shut them all the way, though, and miss out on the beautiful sight of the wide open sea spreading before me. The wind, of course, carried the most fantastic smell in the world: ocean.

At that moment I felt like my heart was swelling up inside me and the wind was blowing all the bad out of me and filling me with the joys of existing near the sea. I was so alive I thought I might burst.

Thursday, 2 December 2010

Writing

What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

There is the obvious answer to this question, which is: I spend too much time on the internet. Facebook. Twitter. Forums. Pointless flash games. Solitaire. Heck, this blog can be a distraction, at times. Can I eliminate them? Yes. I'm not even particularly attached to any of them, aside from blogging. They're just things I do to pass the time (or put off my homework).

Then there is the less obvious answer, which is also the reason why I do the above things: I doubt. I fear. I run away. I hide. Writing is scary. Even though a lot of the time it's something I just do for myself, and it makes me feel better about life when I do it, there are the days when I stare at a blank page and nothing comes. On those days, I feel like the shittiest person alive. I ask myself what kind of loser can't think of a single word to put down on an empty page. How boring and stupid and unimaginative do you have to be to not have a single thought or idea to write down?

I avoid writing because I'm always afraid it will be one of those days. I'm terrified of being a failure, even if no one knows it but me. I attended a small writing workshop a few years ago, and the woman running it asked us each to take a few minutes to come up with an object to symbolize our writing style. We went around the room and shared what we chose and our reasons for it, and she made what seemed like pretty perceptive comments to everyone. I don't even remember what the object that I choose was. But I remember that almost immediately after I said it, the first words out of her mouth were "you're afraid." She elaborated on it beyond that, but all I really remember is how much effort I was putting into not crying. It was a little bit scary how easily she had seen right through me, and upsetting because now someone else knew that I was a failure.

Can I eliminate fear? No. Probably not. Can I face it? Yes. Can I make it something I only deal with when I have to, rather than every day? Yes. Yes I can.

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

One Word

Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

This first prompt for Reverb 10 was posted just a few minutes before I left for class this morning. My first thought was "oooooooh that's gonna be a tricky one." I find it really hard to sum up whole years nicely. I'm sure this is difficult for anyone; condensing 365 days into the space of a few letters is not a simple task by any means. Over the past few years I've found it especially difficult for the student life, because the year is very definitively divided into three four-month chunks which usually involve pretty radical changes from one to another - school to work to school, new roommates, new friends, old friends leaving/returning to town, new extracurricular involvements, etc.

I spent all day thinking about what one word I would use to sum up this year... well, all day except the parts where I was reading my latest law school acceptance letter (for the regular readers: Dal, meh), giving a presentation on my research, having lunch with my secret seminar classmates, and writing an exam... but to no avail. I just couldn't think of anything. So instead I focused on thinking about how I would introduce the subject, and thought "well, I could start off saying how it was really hard to come up with something and I spent all day thinking about it... well, except for when [insert all the stuff I just mentioned]. Man, what a full day this has been!"

At that moment, I had my answer. The one word that encapsulates 2010 for me is empty.

That answer is not as sad and pessimistic as it perhaps sounds. My year has been good for the most part, and I am in general pretty happy with my life. I've just been wanting something... more.

It was largely empty because I have been a huge hermit and spent way more time with my homework and the internet than with all the wonderful (wonderful wonderful wonderful) people in my life. It was partly because my summer job could easily have been done by a trained monkey; I yearned for challenge and interest and spent a full third of my year being bored out of my mind. It was partly because I did not dedicate very much time to creative pursuits. It was also partly because I spent the first part of the year pretending that a sort-of-but-not-quite-a-relationship was yeah-totally-a-relationship (absence of a relationship does not make life empty for me (I am fully capable of being happy single: life has felt more full since I got over it) but being in a non-relationship relationship can). I also have had moments when I felt like maybe it was time to give this religion thing another shot, because sometimes I wonder if that would fill in a few of the holes and bare patches.

This makes my word-wish for 2011 very easy, though. Of course I want next year to be full. I want to see my friends more often. I want to find a job that is fulfilling. I want to spend my spare time writing and knitting and baking and generally creating, rather than on twitter. I don't want to pass up on interesting opportunities because they're scary and/or I don't think I have the time. I will make time. There has to be more to life than my homework. Education is great, but it is not everything. Sometimes I forget that.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Reverb 10

Today is the last day of November, which means the end of this edition of NaBloPoMo. I feel like I did a lot of whining and posting of random videos, but I guess there were a few decent posts in there, so it probably wasn't entirely a waste of time. Okay, actually, looking back through the month's posts, not that bad. I kind of forgot that I wrote mostly actual posts for the first half of the month. The first half of the month seems like so long ago now.

As I alluded to a few days ago, I am taking on another daily-posting challenge for the month of December. Last year in December I participated sporadically in the Best of 2009, which was a challenge which involved a daily prompt where you were supposed to write about the best [insert prompt here] of the year.

This year, Gwen Bell, who created the Best of 2009 challenge, has teamed up with some other folks to expand the project into a bigger and better one called Reverb 10. The point of this project is to "reflect on this year & manifest what's next." I usually reflect quite a bit on the past year anyway, regardless of whether or not I'm participating in something like this. I don't do as well with manifesting, and the way I've been feeling lately is that I could do with some manifesting, so I'm kind of excited about that aspect of it.

Stay tuned for my first Reverb 10 post tomorrow!

Monday, 29 November 2010

Pictures

Here are some pictures I took last time I was at home and forgot about until just now. I like home. It was in the fall. I like fall. I'm going home again soon. Two weeks!




Sunday, 28 November 2010

Not What I Was Going to Write About Today

I thought of something super-great to blog about today. The idea came to me, and I was like "yes! That would be totally awesome, I can't wait to get home and start writing!"

But I was on my way to a meeting, which lasted for three and a half hours, and then by the time I got home and did laundry and a few other things, I totally forgot what on earth it was I was going to say.

I'm watching another NaBloPoMo draw to a close and realizing that I really haven't written about any of the things I set out intending to write about at the beginning of the month. Kinda makes me feel like a failure. I hate putting up filler posts.

Two more days, and then... something else that involves posting every day. But more on that later.

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Fuck winter.

I haven't been warm since this morning. I've spent all evening wrapped in two blankets and eating warm food and drinking hot tea and still I've got the shivers. The worst of it is that it's still only November; it will be a million times colder when winter really shows up. Although at least then there will be snow, which makes winter far more worthwhile.

I would really like to spend a whole day in bed just being cozy and warm and reading. I could really rock that right now.

Dear Christmas break: Come soon, please.

Friday, 26 November 2010

Tous les Jours

I have been putting off blogging (and everything else, really) all day, and now I just don't have time. Ack. So here's a video of a song that I like.


Thursday, 25 November 2010

Oh, Life

I recently found this great online journal tool called OhLife. Every evening, they send you an email that says "How'd your day go?" and all you have to do is reply. This creates an entry for that day in your private online journal, which you can log into to read your previous entries.

Keeping a journal tends to be a really good habit for me. When I'm making a "permanent" record of my life, I tend to want to write down the good things rather than the bad. Back when I hated my life, I used to keep a positivity journal, and every night before I went to bed I would write down a list of all the good things that happened that day. I believe that journal played a large part in pulling me out of that slump. By forcing myself to write down good things, I a) realized how many good things I had in my life, and b) helped me see what the good things were so that I could create more of them.

As beneficial as journalling is, though, it can be really difficult sometimes. When I'm busy and tired, writing in my journal is usually the first thing to get cut out of my life. I mean, I have to pick it up and open it, and find a pencil, and figure out what to write, and actually write it, and that's obviously way too difficult. But with OhLife, all I have to do is reply to an email, and they went to all the trouble of sending it to me, so it's not like I can just ignore it. Seriously.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Inspiration

A few years ago, I went to a writing workshop held for students writing plays for my school's Fringe Festival. The woman who ran the workshop challenged us all to go home and find five rocks. We were supposed to come up with characters for all the rocks, and then make up a story that tied them all together.

I went out into the parking lot behind my res and found five rocks that were all different. I went back to my room and made a character brainstorm for each rock and then figured out how they would all connect together. I started writing the story, although I never did finish it.

I just recently remembered that this happened. It's good to be reminded, sometimes, that when you look for inspiration, you can find it anywhere. If you sit around waiting for it to show up, you'll never get it. I need to go looking.

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

I don't feel like doing anything.

The past five days or so I have felt so completely unmotivated to do anything. Mostly I just want to snuggle up in my bed and read YA lit and maybe drink some hot chocolate.

Actually, that's not entirely true. There are a bunch of things I feel motivated to do, but I just can't right now. I want to start getting ready for our Christmas party, but there's only so many thing that can be done 2.5 weeks ahead of time (so close!), so I have to hold tight a little bit longer.

I recently started making a "life list" - basically like a bucket list, I guess. I was inspired by this post by Gwen Bell and this one by Mighty Girl. So far I'm only up to 19 items, but I was a little distressed by how few of them I can actually do now. Four items require a mostly-permanent living space with some amount of land, and seven are just way beyond my current financial means. A further three can happen starting next September when I'm semi-permanently settled. That means there are a mere five things I can actually do right now! And I know that, looking at them, five are more than enough to keep me busy, but I'm really excited about some of the others, and the prospect of waiting another 4.5 years minimum (.5 undergrad + 3 law school + 1 articling) is just so frustrating.

Basically I mostly just don't want to do my homework, and I think even more so I want to be able to train myself to take productive breaks, instead of wasting time on the internet because I don't want to do homework but can't justify the time it would take to actually go do something.

Monday, 22 November 2010

You can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you have no boots

Poverty has always been an issue that's troubled me. I was, if I may venture to say so, probably a little more informed about it from a younger age, compared to most middle/upper class kids, since my dad worked in the Department of Human Resources and Skills Development for a lot of my younger life, and specifically with Homelessness for part of that time. On "take your child to work day" he had some meetings and stuff going on, so I spent part of the day with him, part of the day with someone else in his office, and part of the day at a local youth shelter.

One of the things that really disturbs me about poverty is how much ignorance there is around it. The people who will make fun of "dirty homeless bums" or refuse to give them any money because "they'll just spend it on drugs anyway" or say things like "well if they'd just get off their ass and get a job they wouldn't have this problem."

Some people on the street have addiction problems. This is true. Some people on the street are there because they came from a poor family and couldn't afford an education. Or they were the oldest of seven kids and dropped out of high school to help out their family. Or they have some form of disability which prevents them from working, and no one else to support them. Or they left an abusive husband/family, but had nowhere to go and nothing to support themselves with. Or or or. Don't be so quick to judge.

As for the "just get a job" mentality, I don't think people think this one through. For someone who lives on the streets or has low income not to have access to things like phones, computers, etc. that we take for granted: How are you going to make and print your resumé? Where are you going to see job advertisements? What contact information are you going to give? What would you wear to an interview? Poverty is a self-enforcing condition; once you're in it's hard to get out. To quote the article I'm getting around to linking to: "You can't pull yourself up by your bootstraps if you have no boots."

So poverty is disturbing because there's a lot of prejudice around it, which means the people with the resources to make a difference are unwilling to do so. It's disturbing because there's not much that people living in poverty can do to help themselves get out (there are some things, yes, but not a lot). It's also disturbing to me because there don't seem to be ways to fix it.

Homeless shelters, food banks, soup kitchens, welfare payments, etc. are not going to fix it. They make life easier and more comfortable for the people living in poverty, yes, and I think for that reason they are important and should be continued. But they're just band-aid solutions. They're not going to eliminate or reduce the number of people living below the poverty line. I don't know what would, though. How on earth do you end poverty? To make sure that everyone has the necessities of life when they just can't provide for themselves?

Then I came across this article in the Globe and Mail about ending poverty by giving poor people money. That answer is just so obvious that it never even occurred to me. It's brilliant.

Would there be problems with such a scheme? Yes. Of course there would. Some people would not use the money wisely. But I think that a lot more people would use it well. Heck, the studies they cited showed that to be true.

Will it ever happen on a large scale in Canada? Probably not any time soon. People are just too concerned with where their "precious hard-earned tax dollars" are going, and if it's not something that directly benefits them, they'll protest it.

I think it could be beautiful.

Sunday, 21 November 2010

My Robot Heart Don't Know What It Wants

Sometimes I feel like I'm
just
an empty shell.

Some sort of robot
designed to read books and write papers and laugh
at all the right times
so no one guesses
the truth.

But inside there's this great big
hole.

Someone forgot
to insert the
human
parts, and so I don't know
how to talk
how to emote
how to love.

I have no
passion
no interests
I don't know
what makes me
tick.

All I know is
read
analyse
write
sleep
repeat
repeat
repeat

Saturday, 20 November 2010

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

All of a sudden it's Christmas here. We've been listening to Christmas music for a few weeks already, but it's becoming a more and more frequent occurrence. Last night we put up our garland and lights out in the kitchen, and more garland arrived for us today so we can fix it up a little better soon. Other decorations also arrived today, and Christmas presents.

We had our first eggnog a few weeks ago, and our first hot apple cider last night. We got candy cane ice cream this evening. It smells like Christmas.

I've already started making mental to do lists for our Christmas party; the cleaning and rearranging that needs to be done, the groceries to be bought, the baking to do, the decorations yet to be put up, the people to invite. The party is still three weeks away yet, but it's constantly tugging at my thoughts.

Supposedly it was snowing today, but I don't think that was true. Everyone's Facebook status was all "omgsnow!" So I ran outside, but it wasn't snow, it was just slush falling from the sky. Not nearly as happy. Oh well.

Friday, 19 November 2010

Street Harassment

Someone I know recently posted a link on Facebook to this cartoon, called "Street Harrasment" by Barry Deutsch:


I feel like this is a thing that needed to be made. Because it happens; I'm willing to bet it happens to every female who lives in a place with a reasonably large population. And it's not okay. But no one ever talks about it.

I realize that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't do any serious harm. But it's very invasive, and undermines my feelings of security. Verbal harassment from strangers causes a feeling of powerless because there is absolutely no response that will make it better. All you can do is what the woman in this cartoon does: put your head down and walk away.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

OMG IT IS ALL OF A SUDDEN 11:48 AND I ONLY HAVE TWELVE MINUTES TO WRITE A POST, AHHHH.

That is all. Carry on.

<3

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Undesirably Awake

I think probably the worst thing about having too much to do is that when I get stressed out, I wake up early.

I get up at seven pretty much every day. Sometimes on weekends if I'm especially tired I'll sleep in until eight or nine, but through the week it's seven o'clock, every morning. When I get really stressed out, I start to wake up at about six thirty, no matter how tired I am or when I went to bed.

This sucks. I have coping strategies for when I have trouble falling asleep, but I have no idea how to make myself stay asleep. Sometimes when this happens I can get back to sleep, but usually it takes about ten minutes, so I'll only get twenty minutes of sleep, and even then it's only light sleep.

It's just so miserable that when I'm already staying up really late to finish a paper or something, I can't even get the extra half hour of sleep I was bargaining on. And then I'm even more tired, so I'm less efficient and get more stressed out and then wake up early again. Boo.

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Fill-in.

Yeah, this is a filler post.

I have to write an entire essay tonight, plus theoretically do some reading, and also write a short thing for the CBC (More on that in the next few days). So I don't really have time to do a for reals blog post.

BUT. Here's a video of Tom Milsom playing a medley of four Lady Gaga songs. Yeahhh.

Monday, 15 November 2010

Project

I want to have a project.

Not like a lame-o boring old school project, but a personal happy hobby type project. Something to pick away at when I have a little bit of spare time instead of just wasting it on the internet. Also, something that will make me feel accomplished and successful when I've finished it.

Something along the lines of restoring an old car, except less expensive and more interesting, or doing a jigsaw puzzle, but more exciting and complicated.

I suppose I could get back at my knitting and maybe actually finish the sweater I've been working on before I finish my undergrad. Or find some other craft supplies so I can get at some sewing projects I've been wanting to make... Okay, so I could have a project, I'm just not motivated enough to get started on them, I guess. I should get on that.

Sunday, 14 November 2010

Accepted.

Earlier this week I received my first law school acceptance, from the University of Victoria.

I don't really remember how much I've actually talked about the specifics of my law school applications on here; I know I've said that I'm applying and everything but I feel like I didn't really talk about the wheres, etc. so I'm going to do that now. Apologies if I have already discussed this in detail.

I applied to three schools, UVic, McGill, and Dal.

UVic is the only law school in the country to offer a co-op program. You do three work terms, one each in a law firm, government and public interest/NGO law. (This is really attractive; everyone I know who's done a co-op program in any program has really enjoyed it, and I like the idea of getting to experience those three different sectors before I have to make real-life decisions about them.

At McGill, you do a joint law degree for both English common law and French civil law. According to the King's-alumni-lawyer-guy I met with for a mentoring session, this opens up possibilities that you don't even know exist if you haven't done that degree. Also, I like French.

Dal is just a regular law school. It's my back-up plan, both because it was the only one where I felt guaranteed to get in (they give huge preference to Maritime residents), and in case I get too scared and don't want to leave.

That said, I really don't even consider Dal as an option right now. My acceptance at UVic took out half of my reason for applying there, and in general I feel more excited than scared about moving away.

I'm not entirely sure where I would choose between UVic and McGill. Both the co-op program and the combined degree are really intriguing to me. I think I'm leaning more and more toward UVic, though. For one thing, if I decide later that I really want to get the civil law degree I can go and just do that in like a year or something, but not so much with the co-op program. Furthermore, location location location. Montreal is a really big city. Victoria is a smaller, more me-friendly size. Also, Victoria has OCEAN. (Also, bunnies, but those are not going to be a deciding factor. I swear.) But McGill is a lot closer to home, and a lot easier to come back to more often if I get homesick. When I get homesick. That's also a really silly reason to do something, though.

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Multicultural Canada

There was an Angus Reid poll released recently on multiculturalism in Canada. The report can be found here. It asked three questions: if multiculturalism has been good or bad for Canada, whether Canada should be a melting pot or a mosaic, and whether or not Canadian society is tolerant or intolerant to certain groups.

I have some trouble wrapping my head around the question of multiculturalism being good or bad. Multiculturalism just... is. Canada has always been multicultural, since before the arrival of any Europeans, and even more so after that. Like, the people who said it was bad, thinks the French should have done a better job of keeping the English out, and then killed off all the aboriginal peoples, and just held onto it as a French colony without ever allowing immigration here from other countries? I guess I just don't see how 30% of people can say multiculturalism has been bad for Canada, because we've never not been multicultural, so what are they even comparing it to?

I'm also really baffled by the results to the melting pot vs. mosaic question. I would get it if they had represented mosaic as being cultural segregation, but those aren't the words they use at all. A melting pot is described as "immigrants should assimilate and blend into Canadian society" and in a mosaic "cultural differences within society are valuable and should be preserved." I can't imagine ever being in a mindset where I would choose melting pot from those options. I realize I am of the dominant Canadian culture, but if I moved to somewhere where that wasn't the case, I'd rather have my culture preserved than be assimilated.

As for the tolerance question, well, those results are about what I'd expect. I don't necessarily agree with them, but they don't surprise me.

I do find the breakdowns of the results by age group interesting. I did expect that probably younger people were more favourable to multiculturalism, but the fact that there is such a clear movement from the older to younger groups on both the options of the first two questions is slightly surprising and kind of great.

One thing I would like to see is a racial breakdown of results, and I guess I understand why it's probably not politically correct to ask that question on polls, but I think in this case it might make a point. Even if they displayed a list of the minorities they have for the tolerance question and had it as a yes/no of being part of one of them. I just have this picture in my head of millionth-generation white upper-class straight Canadians sitting around going "yeah, this is what multiculturalism in Canada should be." Not that the dominant culture shouldn't have any say, but we shouldn't have the only say.

Friday, 12 November 2010

Countdown

I spend a lot of my time counting down the time left until other times in the future. For example, I currently have a countdown for half of the days of the week. Monday is weeks until I'm done for the semester (4 + 3 days), Tuesday is weeks until classes are over (3 + 4 days), Wednesdays are weeks until we can get a Christmas tree (2 + 5 days), Saturdays are weeks until Christmas (6 + 1 day), etc. Then there's the times the "months until..." come up, and so on. You get the point.

I always feel guilty about doing this. I'm somehow selling today (and myself) short by trying to rush past it to get to something else. I know I would probably find more things to appreciate about RIGHT NOW if I would only stop to drink it all in. But I just can't bring myself to do it, because all I can think about is ack ack ack so much homeworks not happy times ahhhh!

So I'll just keep on counting.

Thursday, 11 November 2010

Lest We Forget

Thank you, veterans, and those who gave up their lives, for defending this wonderful country.

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

The Beautiful World

As I mentioned briefly a couple days ago, I recently got glasses because it turns out that I am near-sighted. I knew I was having some trouble, because it was starting to get difficult to see what my profs were writing on the board or projecting onto the screen. I really thought it was just writing, though. Everything else looked just fine.

Then my glasses came in. I was absolutely astounded the first time I put them on. Sure, I could see fine before, but with them on I can see really well. It's amazing.

I notice the difference most in the trees. I can pick out every twig and leaf and variation of colour now in a way I couldn't before. This was an especially great thing to have happen in the fall when everything is beautiful. There's one tree that I can see out of the window of my French classroom that I've really appreciated. It's lost the vast majority of its leaves already, and it just has that perfect "gloomy lonely bare tree against the sky" look to it, which is all the more stirring now that it sticks out in much sharper detail.

It was just sort of nice to realize that the world is even more beautiful than I always though it was.

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

Re: Fear

I guess this might be a case of "be careful what you wish for," but when I said I wanted to be scared, I specified I wanted to be scared of things that weren't real life. This is most definitely real life.

Yesterday we discovered that the lock on the door to our apartment had been tampered with through the night; there were obvious tool marks around the edges of the keyhole.

For the past two years, our area of town has been the target of numerous incidents where a male intruder went into households and watched (and in the more recent cases, touched) female occupants while they were sleeping. Although the fact this was a forced entry didn't match up with that scenario, it was a little too suspicious that it happened when our male roommate was spending the night somewhere else.

The rational part of me knows that no one got in, and hey, the lock obviously held out long enough for the person to give up, so we're safe. But in a city that seems to have had a drastic increase in crime over the past few months, it's still very worrying. I am unimpressed.

Monday, 8 November 2010

Psst.

I have a secret addiction: the "Pssts" (missed connections) page of the local paper.

I check them online nearly every day. I find them fascinating. It's like the conflict between our human longing for companionship and our fear of rejection have found an outlet in these safe yet vaguely hopeful anonymous messages.

It's both sad and comforting to think of all the lonely people out there, sending out their little distress signals in the hopes that someone will find them...

I've had a few missed connections myself; I imagine most people have, in some way or another. After the most recent time this happened, I told myself it wouldn't happen again. I'm going to muster up some courage and finally make a connection.

Sunday, 7 November 2010

I love so much:

Warm food. Especially with vegetables in it.
Board game nights.
Swing dancing.
Blankets.
Getting dry after being out in the rain.
Hot chocolate when it's cold out.
Hot showers.
Aimlessly daydreaming.
Finally getting a bit of blue sky after a whole weekend of rain.
Chocolate.


(Was lacking in positivity today. Feel better now.)

Saturday, 6 November 2010

Whoops

I was hoping to make it at least a little bit longer before I had to do a filler post, but I guess not. This weekend has gotten a little out of control. I'll maybe tell you about it sometime.

<3

Friday, 5 November 2010

Watch this trailer:


Now be angry.

Seriously, WHAT IS THIS BUSINESS?

That hardly even looks like the book. The first two trailers showed that the story in this movie had obviously been aggrandized and epicified, but I assumed it would be left were more or less intact, just a little exaggerated. I can handle book-to-movie changes when they are small and in the spirit of the book. They are different mediums, and different things will work for each. But these are some pretty serious changes we're talking about.

What is the White Witch doing? What is up with the swords? How do they make three whole trailers for the movie without even mentioning the fact that Caspian is looking for the seven LORDS?

Agh. Anger. I love this book, and I was excited for this movie, but not if they're going to ruin it. Grump.

Fuck you, Hollywood, I want my childhood back.

Thursday, 4 November 2010

101 in 1001 Update

I haven't updated re: this in a really really long time, so let's do that now.

Things I've finished without having mentioned them on here:

50. Spend 10 days volunteering

Accomplished over the summer: 3 at Grand Chief Membertou 400 Mawio'mi, 3 at Atlantic Jazz Festival, and... I don't even remember, either 7 or 8 at Halifax International Buskers Festival. This goal was way easier than I had anticipated.


28. Try 10 new restaurants

Spartan
Pilot's Pub

Niche wins for best music; the Gracious Indian wins for best samosas. I don't care to judge any other categories.


2. Talk to an academic advisor

This process actually started back in March, but I have officially sorted out the end of my degree, finally got my honours application submitted and approved, and even applied to graduate. I am good to go.


73. Find a topic I love for my honours thesis

Methods of conversion used by Jesuit Missionaries in New France in the sixteenth century.


70. Get eyes checked

Done. Needed glasses. Have glasses. Can see now.


30. Cook 10 new dishes

Beef stew
Pad Thai
Pasta with chickpea sauce
Garlic fingers
Falafel
Grilled chicken with spinach and raspberries
Yemista
Greek goddes burger
Pork with bell peppers
Roast beef

Most tasty: tie between pad Thai, garlic fingers, falafel, and yemista. I am bad at decisions. Also I just like food.


This brings me to a total of 26 items completed. I should theoretically be at 30 by now, but my partially completed things almost add up to enough to make up for it, so whatever, I guess. I have lost some of my interest in this list. There are definitely still a few projects on it that I would really like to accomplish, and there are a bunch of things on it that I know I should do. There are also some that I'd really like to do, and would jump if the opportunity fell into my lap, but am really not in a position to make happen just now. And then there are other things that I feel like "gee, why did I even want to do that in the first place?" I might change my list somewhat. I might quit. I might do a different sort of thing. We'll see.