Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Action + Appreciate

I find this prompt difficult, not because I don't know what actions to take to make my aspirations happen. It's because I'm not exactly sure what my aspirations are.

I don't know, at this point, where exactly my next move is going to take me. I guess that means my next actions need to be decision-making, but I don't have all the information I need to make those decisions yet, and I don't have any control over when this information will be available to me. The activities of law school admissions committees fall far outside the realm of things I can control.

A lot of the other things I want from my life are dependent on this too. There are a lot of things I don't want to commit myself to until I know whether or not I'll be moving in 4 or 8 months.

So for now, my next step is waiting. In the realm of much smaller aspirations, I will occupy some waiting time by continuing to pursue my freshly-set deadline of completing the sweater I'm knitting by the end of June. Next step: finish the back!

I think the one thing I've come to appreciate the most this year is healthy relationships - romantic, friendships, and otherwise.

In the first part of this year, one of my friendships was souring and becoming very unpleasant. Due to the situation at the time, this was also someone that I had to deal with every single day. Instead of discussing our issues, we just became extremely passive-aggressive with each other, which meant, of course, that the situation just got worse and worse.

I was also in a sort-of relationship. We had started dating in 2009, but due to our busy schedules and lack of commitment, we saw each other very rarely - we saw each other in class a few times a week, sure, but only actually spent time together about once a month. I let myself get far more attached than I should have for that sort of "relationship," and thus felt a lot more distress about the situation than was really healthy.

Being far enough away from both of these situations now to have some perspective on them, it's helped me to appreciate what healthy human relationships feel like, and how valuable they are.

I really don't show my appreciation well enough. I should probably let my friends know how much they mean to me, and a good way to start would probably be by actually acting as though I want to spend time with them, instead of being a reclusive antisocial hermit all the time. Let's add that to my action list.


AnnMarie said...

I don't know if it's time that heals all, or perspective. My leaning is toward the latter.

Great post.

Bob D. said...

"...completing the sweater I'm knitting by the end of June" - But it's SO COLD right now! June is like, summer time! :o)

"being a reclusive antisocial hermit all the time" - Wait a minute... You're saying this a bad thing? Seriously though, letting people you care about know how much they mean to you is always a win-win. You feel great, they feel great. Why we don't all do this all the time, I have no idea. But then again, I'm a reclusive antisocial hermit, so I tend to be clueless about such things...