I feel like I could very easily coast through #reverb10 answering most of the prompts with "I didn't." It wouldn't be lying. I could do it. Will it be a useful practice? No.
I think the reason I keep wanting to focus on the negative aspects of the the year is because I'm in a shitty mood right now. End of term plus super gross weather tend to do that to me. Was it a bad year? At times, yeah. There are things I would go back and change if I could, for sure. But I don't want to give off only bad reverberations. I do need to recognize the bad things so I can think about how to fix them next year, but I also need to remember that good things happened this year too. Lots of good moments.
So, community. Were there times this year that I felt like I was growing so far from my friends that I just wanted to cry until I fell asleep and didn't have to think about it? Yeah. Were there times it felt like I had absolutely no one I could talk to about anything? Absolutely. Were there times I listened to the song below over and over again just to sing along to "I would go most anywhere/to feel like I belong"?
You better believe it. Does that mean I should stop writing here, like I considered doing when I first read today's prompt? Absolutely not.
So does this mean that I have no community? No. It just means my community is changing, and I'm taking some time to adjust. I still have my very best friends to lean on when I need them.
I guess the prompt is technically about where I have discovered community this year, and I do have a few answers to that. I took a fourth year seminar course this year that came together sort of haphazardly and somewhat under the official university radar, which we lovingly refer to as the "secret seminar." It consists of seven students plus the prof, and we just discussed everything and supported each other through the tough issues we were approaching. I was by far the quietest and shyest one in the course, but it still felt like a community, especially on the last day when we went out for lunch together. We like each other and the course so much, in fact, that we've decided to carry on as a discussion group, just for fun, next semester.
As far as online communities go, I found a forum for law students, where I've connected with some of the other applicants at one of my prospective schools. We've been helping each other through the application process and the admissions wait, and it's great. We are well on our way to our goal of having the longest thread ever on that forum. Plus we've already started planning a party for when we theoretically all end up at that university together.
In 2011, I want to connect more deeply with the community of the swing dance society I'm a member of. I've been hovering around the edges, but I need to dive right on in.
I want to join the community of whatever law school I end up at, really join it. I want to be involved in everything and know everyone and be right in the thick of things.
I will find my way.
I can go the distance.